It’s April 15th, Â TAX day to us red blooded Americans. Usually by now most of you hillbillies have received your refund already spent on chaw, beer and hookers and ya know what? There is nothing wrong with that, I wish I could do that too but most of my tax refund gets swallowed up by paying other taxes that the gym owes and medical bills for my crumbling skeletal infrastructure. Fortunately I pretty much gave up on making it big financially a long time ago. You can sum up my general daily attitude by this tweet I posted up this morning:
“I’m feeling very optimistic today . . . I don’t see that lasting too long though.”
The Great Greasy Counter Caper: But I do have some good news to report. I finally figured out why the counter tops of the gym are always so dirty and greasy on Saturday mornings when I open up. It seems that my night guy, crazy Howie (who I basically pay to clean the gym) and the crew of members that hang around here on Friday night have this new hamburger night tradition that goes on here. They order up all this greasy food from the place across the street and pig out as they smear their greasy hands all over my counters and then leave all the crumbs and burger residue for me to clean up. Â So not only am I cleaning up after my members but now I’m also cleaning up after the guy that I pay to clean up after me!
This Friday night mess has become such a tradition that the place across the street (Cocco’s Pizza) is naming a special burger after us. The ‘Iron Sport Burger’, it’s a double bacon cheeseburger with a fried egg and an onion ring on top. You know your gym has really arrived when local food joints start naming potentially deadly junk Â food after you.
Stevey P Strength Tip: One piece of equipment you won’t find here at Iron Sport is a decline bench. I personally don’t really think it’s a viable exercise and I REALLY don’t think its going to do what every broski in the world thinks it does. No, it will NOT carve the outer/underside of your pecs up like that asshole wearing the Italian horn on his gold chain at Gold’s told you it would back in the 80’s. Â Yes, I know you think I’m wrong, I know there is going to be some blowhard reading this who has much better pecs than me say, “Fuck Stevey P, I do declines and look at my pecs!” Guess what, his pecs would look exactly the same way with or without doing declines. This is the one case when you can actually use this excuse and and be right . . . It’s all genetics my little swoldiers.
I always try to explain to newbies in here that you CANNOT reshape a muscle, you can only do two things to a muscle, you can either make a muscle bigger or NOT make it bigger. If you have nice rounded pectoral development its because of your genetics not from declines. Â Plus if declines did actually do what every newbie in the gym thought they did all these guys at every shitbird chain gym would be walking around with Dolly Parton’s tits hanging off of them.